One breath at a time

Rebooting is a biweekly newsletter about how we can use technology to take better care of ourselves. 

Some days are just bound to be disasters.

Last May, I took in my nana and tata’s dog, Behr, and it’s mostly been delightful. After an adjustment period, he’s turned into a cheery, cuddly, playful dude whose goofy little underbite never stops cracking me up. There’s one big problem: he was never housebroken. It’s not his fault, and to the lil’ dude’s credit he’s been getting better, but I also have a pet deposit to worry about—some days I worry more than others.

One day last week, he had accidents on my bed, his crate, and my bathroom floor within a few hours of each other. Love is a practice in patience. Normally, that patience isn’t difficult to find. There are days, though, where the stress overflows and I simply cannot find my chill. In between his oopsies, I had to fight with my ISP about an increased monthly rate and navigate the cyclist-hostile streets of Long Beach. It was a rough day, and at the end of it I wanted nothing more than to scream into a pillow until I passed out.

Maybe that pillow screaming would work, but it’s not the most healthy coping mechanism in the long run, and it can’t be good for my vocal cords. Going to the gym usually helps, but that isn’t always an option; I needed something that could calm me down at a moment’s notice, no matter where I’m at.

Headspace was a great tool in helping me grieve last year, but eventually I started getting wrapped up in other woes and stopped checking in with the app. Once my problems started piling up and I could feel my anxiety rising, I turned back to my trusty meditation guide for comfort. Most of my problems would probably be solved if I could quell my anxiety and stress; luckily, Headspace has an entire section dedicated to just that.

There’s courses like “Managing Anxiety,” “Transforming Anger,” and “Reframing Loneliness” that have all helped me feel more comfortable in my skin, and treat my anxiety more like a wave to ride out than an avalanche that’s about to trample over me. There’s also an SOS section packed with bite-sized meditations for when crisis strikes. I love these because they’re a quick, on-demand pep talk that can calm down my panicky mind before I fully break down. I’ve also been able to use Headspace’s sleep meditations to catch some Z’s when all my mind wants to do is replay the biggest blunders of my life. Nobody wants to be kept up at night by the memory of walking back to class after a haphazard haircut from the school’s principal (it’s a long story that started with hair that was deemed too long and ended with a metal bowl and office scissors), so having a calming voice guide me to sleep is a pretty nice escape from that.

Anxiety doesn’t just dictate how comfortable I feel in public, though. It can creep up while I’m at the gym, cooking dinner, or more frequently when I’m feeling overwhelmed at work. If I can squeeze in a few minutes for a meditation, I’ll do that, but I can’t get my work done while there’s someone whispering in my ear, and I can’t tell myself to chill out until I have a second to meditate.

For those moments, I like using Dark Noise, an app that generates white noise to keep your ears occupied while you blitz through whatever you need to do. Whether you’d like to be serenaded by the sound of thunderstorms, cats purring, or the crackle of a fireplace, there’s plenty of sounds to make your mind feel at ease while you recollect yourself.

One of the most unbearable truths I’ve had to swallow is that anxiety is relentlessly persistent, and it’ll trample all over you if you don’t have a contingency plan for when it strikes. Knowing that I can just toss on a pair of headphones and tap a few buttons to give myself some peace of mind isn’t a perfect solution for the rapid-fire sucker punches anxiety throws your way, but it’s comforting to know that you can call on them whenever you need, if only to breathe long enough to figure out your next step.

In the News:

How your laptop ruined your life (The Atlantic): My first post-college job was working at a nonprofit, and even though I had the option of using a work-issued laptop, it was slow and clunky, so I chose to just use my personal one instead. In any case, having a laptop always handy makes it easy to think crunching a few minutes of work into your evening won’t be too much trouble. Those few minutes quickly creep into a few hours, though, so it’s probably best to keep your work laptop at the office, or at least out of reach once you get home. 

How to know if therapy is working (Elemental): There are few people who couldn’t benefit from some form of therapy. Still, it’s a scary thing to open yourself up to a stranger, and you’re lucky if you find the right fit from the get-go. I’m in the process of finding a new therapist after realizing my last one and I didn’t mesh very well. Tips like these make it easy to make sure you’re on the right track, and it’s a great way for beginners to know what to look for. 

Something Nice:

These brussells sprouts: Cooking is fun! But sometimes you’re busy and don’t have time for an intricate, Instagrammable meal. These sprouts are quick to cook, super tasty, and make a good side for a variety of meals. 

As always, if you have any questions, feedback, or just want to say hello, feel free to drop me a line on Twitter.

My thanks to Medea Giordano for editing this issue.