I’d like to phone a friend

Rebooting is a biweekly newsletter about how we can use technology to take better care of ourselves.

A quick note: We’re going weekly! Times are tough right now, and we’re going to try to help in any way we can. So on what would generally be off weeks, Medea and I will be sending out a newsletter with links to things that have been making us feel better, made us laugh, or just given us some sort of comfort in this really trying time. It’s an experiment, so please let us know if you like it or if you’d rather we stick to what we’ve been doing! But we hope y’all will enjoy it.

This is a weird time to be writing a newsletter. I’m currently in an AirBnB in Tucson, Arizona. In the corner of the living room is a nude, pink mannequin, and a faux horse head is mounted on the wall, staring at us every time we watch Masterchef Junior. We’re down here to be closer to my parents, but we can’t stay with them as long as we might be carrying COVID-19. Times are scary, and I’m figuring out what space this newsletter should live in while we’re all navigating such uncharted territory. I’ve been spending a lot more time on my iPad and phone lately though, so I’ll be thinking about how to best make use of that time eventually. But I’m not really there yet. 

In the meantime, I figured it’d be nice to hear from some of my friends who are figuring out nifty ways to use a couple apps to get them through what’s probably going to be a rough little while. 

Doomsday Film Club

Under normal circumstances, I love going to movie theaters on dates, or cuddling in bed with friends marathoning trash TV. They were the only useful application of my bachelor’s degree in Communication and Media Studies (unlike my other degree in English Literature, which I clearly use all the time). When social distancing meant no more movie dates, I screamed into my pillow for a bit but then realized I didn’t have to stop pontificating about the mise en scene of When Harry Met Sally or the question of diegetic vs non-diegetic sound in Love is Blind. Now, I’m doing it remotely, through my Doomsday Film Club. Once a week, me and the 20 or so people who responded to my Instagram story meet to discuss that week’s assigned film (usually those that have happy endings and take place in a very different time or place than our own). It’s a motley assortment of people: my former boss, a second cousin, a few college friends and co-workers, and even friends of friends I’ve never met before. But for one hour a week, we convene on Zoom, wade through the interpretive weeds, and forget all about the world falling apart all around us.  

• Dorie Chevlen

Cross-country  Game Night

You know that friend who is just a little too into board games? That person who says: “Yes I know it looks complicated, but once you get through the first hour it really starts to make sense!” and makes too many jokes about sheep trading? Yeah: I am that person. So the prospect of losing game nights while being sequestered at home for (possibly) months was just one more stresser to add to my quickly growing pile of personal existential dread. 

Luckily, all the gear and software that millions are using to do their work from home—Zoom, Slack, and Discord—can also be used to play games with your friends! To test this theory, a group of about 12 of my friends across the country came together on Zoom for our first quarantine game night.

For this first iteration we tried the Jackbox Party Pack, a group of party games that usually run on a TV with players answering questions on their phones. (Jackbox has  a helpful guide to running its games remotely). I hosted and ran the game on my computer through a screen share. Aside from a few technical hiccups at the start, everything ran relatively smoothly. And I think everyone was relieved to have something to distract them from checking the news for the 100th time or refreshing Twitter.

Also, as someone who has friends scattered across various states, this was a fun opportunity to introduce a few of my friend groups to each other. Because of that, I think this might become a more regular part of my life, even after physical distancing (eventually) stops being necessary. And now that we all know each other, we can figure out how to run Catan and Coup online, so we can ruin all of our newly established friendships. 

• James Austin

Pass it along

Pain takes many shapes right now, morphing itself into anxiety and illness and loneliness. I yearn to be with others, to comfort and console in the midst of a crisis. While my 17-year-old sister FaceTimes me approximately 1,738,257 times a day, I’m still looking for my own ways to feel connected during COVID-19. I’m not sure I have it fully figured out, and I’m not sure if I ever will. But for now, I’m posting the things that make me happy on Instagram. I’m posting the things I feel on Twitter. I’m playing dumb story games where we all try to pass the pineapple. I’m doing everything I can to make others feel like they’re not alone, so that I don’t feel that way either.

• Haley Sprankle

We’re all in this together

I already work from home and am generally a homebody, so the thought of quarantining and sheltering in place is only scary to me because it's mandated and it means there's something terrible happening. But I truthfully love to be home with my two cats and I'm lucky enough to keep myself busy right now with all the products I'm testing for work. But being a homebody doesn't mean I want to be totally cut off from contact with people. I love good classic games like Life and Scattegories, for the people I'm not social distancing from (my roommate and boyfriend). Low stakes, low stress but lots of fun. But for those that you unfortunately have to distance from, social media has really shown that it can be used for good lately. I've been utilizing Snapchat, Slack and Instagram (specifically chain stories) to have some semblance of fun and solidarity. My sister set up my nephew on Facebook’s Kid Messenger, so I can still annoy him from a state over. I've also been *screams* calling people. Pick up the damn phone and tell your loved ones you love them!!

Something I've been seeing a lot is that we're "alone together." It's easy to panic during a time like this—my natural state is panic even when everything is fine—but it feels a little bit better to know everyone is in the same position as you and you can reach out for support whenever you need a little bit of closeness. (Also here's my push for fostering a pet during quarantine if you're in the position to do so! What's better than a furry pal when you can't leave the house?)

• Medea Giordano

In the News:

How to go on a digital first date (GQ):  A few months ago, it might have sounded silly, but digital first dates are good! Sure, you can’t read each other as easily, and you can’t bar hop as the night goes on, but there are still ways to get your flirt on without making it too weird. And you may find a genuine connection with someone who’s just as freaked out as you probably are by all of this. 

Love in the time of corona (Wirecutter): So, you’re sold on tossing a digital date into your new quarantine routine? Give one of these suggestions a shot! 

You have a moral responsibility to post your boring life on Instagram (The Atlantic): The bad news is that things are bad right now. The good news? We’re all going through it together, and there’s a strange comfort in being able to sit back from your quarantined AirBnB, and watch your friends adjust to their weird, new lives the same way you’ve been doing. 

How to manage anxiety during a pandemic (Vox): I’m still coming to terms with my anxiety diagnosis. It’s nice to be reminded that this is a freaky time for all of us, and it’s okay to not be sure what to do. Hopefully some of these tips help. 

Something Nice:

Balance Meditation: I’m a big fan of Headspace, but Balance is giving away a free year of its meditation service to help people cope with the struggles that coronavirus is putting us all through. I’ve played with it a bit, and it’s a nice app that’s great for beginners or anyone who doesn’t want to pay for a service like Headspace. 

As always, if you have any questions, feedback, or just want to say hello, feel free to drop me a line on Twitter.

My thanks to Medea Giordano for editing this issue.